Jail - Tips

Some things that came in handy in jail that I either figured out or learned from others:

Take two towels with you and keep one clean at all costs. One of them you can use to pad your butt in the tanks - you can thank me later. The other one that you kept clean is going to be your pillow in your tent. If you're a one day person, this isn't as important.

Save all your food that you don't eat. Man, this was a life-saver. You'll go long periods without eating, and I'm a competitive cyclist so I tend to eat huge amounts of food and going 20 hours between meals was just excruciating. You can also barter with uneaten food to get other things you might want.

If you don't have to be up for work release or anything, don't take a watch, you'll just find yourself looking at it and time will stand still - this was the general consensus among my homies in the yard.

If the commissary is open when you get to the tents, BUY A SODA. You'll want a bottle to refill with cold water from the spicket. If you don't buy one and they close the commissary for hours, you're going to be really sorry, because there is not a water fountain. You can always buy drinks from some of the dudes in there, but you may pay a lot more.

Save your empty bottles. I found a trick - put the bottle, long ways between the metal frame of the tent and the canvas cover if you're in a top bunk. This will move the cover further from your body and slightly reduce heat.

They'll ask for volunteers for chow, garbage, and cleaning. If you're there for more than a few days, help out, because you get some free stuff and it's appreciated by the other guys. If you're only there a day or two, it's kind of pointless, but it will help pass the time.

Bring a long book. I don't like to read because I have trouble concentrating on a book, but there were very slow dull times in the yard and having something to look at really helped pass the time.

Mind your own - watch your back. Nobody is your friend in jail, you may be in Tent City because you are a petty criminal, but everyone else here is not in the same boat. In my experience, about 2/3 of the guys there have long criminal records. I lost count of how many guys had prison or pen experience. You definitely don't want to piss those guys off, and they're going to talk to you, you'll hear their stories, and while many of them are generally friendly, affable people, they're still convicts. A guy in my tent had served a total of 20 some years in state pen (I forgot how many exactly) and told us not to trust anyone. He looked out for anyone in his tent.

If there is a fight, mind your own fucking business. I cannot stress this enough, don't try to help, don't watch, just walk away. If someone is getting his ass kicked, he's going to get his ass kicked and it isn't worth getting rolled up to Towers for tying to help, and it's really not worth going to the hospital or getting killed/hurt over it. There were some gangbangers picking on an older guy right by my bunk, and I just looked the other way. Later that night that guy ended up going to the hospital because he got his ass kicked. They were mad at his manner of speech, telling him not to say "copy that" to the guards because it made him sound like a suck up and they perceived him as a snitch. You don't want to be part of that.

I recommend an Under Armor or Nike Dri-Fit shirt, and having one made a lot of people really jealous. They are very thin and breathe well when dry, but you can get them wet without making them really heavy like a cotton shirt, which means you can soak it and put it on your head. Think of how the arabs stay cool in the desert. You can go shirtless unless there is a female D.O. (detention officer) on the yard.

Gym shorts are your friend. Of course, all of my rambling is about it being summer, but there were a lot of people who wore jeans and were really unhappy. It can reach 130 degrees in your tent, you want to be as cool as possible!

Shoes - man I wish I had done this one better. Wear athletic shoes that are very comfortable, but more importantly ones that you can wear without tying. I wore my chuck taylors because I don't care about trashing them, but having to tie and untie shoes every time I wanted to go from my bed to the bathroom or something really sucked. Slip on shoes would be rad, or just run your laces out of the top lace hole and tie them in there to keep them semi-tight so you never have to tie or untie.

Leave things you won't have in the jail at home. I left my cell phone, wallet, and everything else that I couldn't have inside the jail at home. I drove myself there so I didn't want to leave items in my car. A couple of guys brought their phones and didn't drive themselves there, resulting in hiding their phone outside the jail entrance. I never found out if their things were there when they were let out. You won't be allowed to wear an undershirt or hat, so don't bother taking one.

If someone is a legit seller of items, you'll know it, it will be so obvious. Our seller introduced himself to everyone. He was trustworthy, but a lot of guys didn't get their items because he got rolled up. If you decide to buy something from another inmate, don't assume you will actually get it. Some stuff is special order in the morning and you receive it that afternoon.

There is a lot of counterfeit money. I can't explain this one but I saw a lot of people asking guys to make change (say a five dollar bill for five ones) and later try to use the money in a vending machine and it wouldn't take it.

Lastly, NO ONE IS YOUR FRIEND. I said it before, but everyone in there is a convict, even you. You may think that guy you spent 20 hours with in processing is your best homie, and he may be your homie in jail, but in real life, you'd never be friends, and he'll screw you over first chance he gets. This is jail, not a party. People are going to tell you that this is DUI jail... it isn't. There are guys in tent city with one year sentences, they did real crimes.